friday friday!

i’m listening to queen and yui.
weird combo but what the heck.
i’ve cheered up from my emo-ness yday
and whatever happens happens

finally
i got some more free lance jobs
but again
IT’s NOT ENOUGH but oh well
shitty time in the world to look for jobs

hmmm my free hosting is back
but i don’t really know what to do with it
anyway
i start work monday.

Filed under: Uncategorized

let it be

so this year is truly not my year
i’ve resigned to the fact that whatever comes, comes
whatever happens, happens and i can’t do much but
to accept it
even if i begrudgingly do

but i think my depression will just get worst and worst
as i try to struggle to stay on the top
but somehow
i am also finding peace that i can accept the things that i normally cannot accept

if.
we’re fated to die young
nothing i can do bout it anymore
except to just live through it and live a happy life and make everyone happy

i guess i feel a bit sad when i saw my mom’s email bout rouge genes
and i feel like not wanting to much about it and go get tested out for many things
main culprit would be cancer
for some reason
my mom said sorry and you know
i never once thought it was her fault that i have these genes

it’s just because
our body is like that
i don’t really care anymore and if i die i die
i dont’ want treatment
i don’t want anything
i don’t want medications anymore
i do not want to go to hospitals
i spent most of my childhood in and out of the hospital
i am sick and done with it

it’s not your fault
don’t worry
but for some reason when my mom said
“i’m sorry my dear girl”

i just thought of what my mom was thinking when she wrote that email to me
must’ve been more hard for her
but you know it’s good
she has children even though she couldn’t have them
she had 4 but only me and the sibling survived hahaa

i’m listening to john mayer’s no such thing
and am contemplating some facts of life
but i’m kinda wondering if i should jus up and leave
considering
i have the genes where i am not able to have kids
i also am most likely to not see my 45th birthday now
and i will most likely die of cancer with no cure or treatment.
basically it’s the brains one where i will die anytime

ah…i am not sure why i want to write it here
i think nobody should be burdened with these looming sad thoughts of my impending death

but it’s ok
i am finally happy

i will rest in peace.
somehow i know
but i am contemplating very much if i should be like a dog leaving for the woods
i don’t want him to be sad
i don’t want him to cry
i don’t want him to feel grief
i rather he felt angry and it would’ve been easier to move on

i am sorry
ever since you’ve known me
it’s been one helluva ride.
i am very sorry.
i can only think of your grief and unhappiness.

now aside from daunting things
i need to think of what to do in the summer?
work here or go internship back in asia.
if go internship in asia, life is going to be nothing but great
hahahhahaha
hong kong and msia and singapore.
omfg.
but it will be 3 months away from everyone.
that’s the drawback.
or should i stay back and study.

decisions decisions
btw
i’m having a lot of mindless dreams
most of them got to do with pregnancy -___-
i’m just too young for that shit but
if
if let say i need to have a kid before i am totally fucked (genes wise as mentioned above i most likely cannot have kids 80% chance)
i guess
it’s telling me to have one now ?!?!?

omg
i know he will want one now if it’s a race against time
T_T
life is just too weird for me at the moment.

Filed under: Uncategorized

post long weekend!

morning people
tuesday morning

long weekend has just passed. how did you guys fare?
i did nothing but eat, sulk, get angry and play games hahaah so it was almost good.
anyway long week ahead.
lotsa work to catch up.

did you guys enjoy chocolate day at giapo?
anyway i certainly did xD

hmmm i was thinking of what to say but i really have too much i want to say but i cannot say
so i’ll just leave it with some of my thoughts.

i really like the fact that i can show affection whenever i want where ever we are and he also does the same
it’s like we don’t need to hide or downplay it our affections for each other
it really feels special when he just pulls me near even if we’re in a social gathering and he’ll give me a peck on my head or my cheek
ahhhh it’s really blissful, this feeling
sometimes he can sense i am nervous and i feel out of place but it will be ok
because he knows exactly when to grab my hand and hold it tightttttttttttt and then smile and that is the signal that everything is going to be ok

also
am lucky things are getting better with my parents
but i really dislike the fact that they’re trying to stuff me to gain weight
i can only eat so much ne o.0

Filed under: Uncategorized

chocolate day at giapo

friends, today is chocolate day at GIAPO at QUEEN STREET AUCKLAND CITY so head on down and get some cos it’s definately awesome. while i can’t eat ice cream atm cos i am sick, i hope ya’ll enjoy this for me.

been 10 days since i last posted
what happened.

so that weekend on the 10th i went for drinks with the boys..wuz pretty funny cos of a “Departed” moment but it’s all good XD

then baby made me breakfast, lunch and dinner for 2 solid days and we started playing games p2p together again and then umm i forgot but all we did was just eat hardout on mai birthday. was supposed to go clubbing again the following weekend but end up, cbf. i slept until sunday to go eat with my parents. they want to feed me but don’t want me to move back XD *win* so far many good food and thankfully no akward questions XD well not like he’ll lemme go back anyway xD

anyway as i was saying
did you know, budget fruit loops taste like fake fruit loops?t does because we went to the supermarket and then wanted to buy some but it was out..so ended up with home brand…sigh….but after a while, i guess it will be in line.

oh yeah
crazy noodles is looking for someone to work as their waitress/waiter. if you can read chinese and write it faster than me, then pls go find mr Aw in new market.

also, i sprained my neck cos i was a bit retarded but it’s all good now. one more week to school and hello one week break and SUMMER SCHOOL! DAM WIN liao.NOT

nothing much significant has happened but i have a feeling i might die earlier than expected.how can i be so blase about this? i don’t know either but it seems due to a hereditary thing i might have to go in for a proper test because i am showing signs of that and my uncle just picked it up from my rants. i guess i’m lucky number 1 for my generation.

and btw
if you have too much migraine often enough
it probably isn’t migraine.
it’s something much more worst an you need to check it out. it’s like a time bomb and i could possibly have it until results come back.

if we die we die..i’m so blas..
someday somehow, everyone dies anyway
but i will be sad to leave the people behind…
i also did say if one of us had to die first, wished it’ll be me so i don’t die of a broken heart right after him.but either way i’ll probably be broken hearted and will never recover. i know this so.

Filed under: Uncategorized , fruit loops, giapo gelato, ice cream, queen street, rant

weather forecast was a sham

so the weather forecast was a sham
there was really not much of a rain, let alone storm … -__-
and my weekend plans were duly crushed because of weather, fatigue and douchebag ala aznboss.
lmao i am kinda dreading it every time he cooks curry cos it’s always kinda weird
last nite butter chicken was insanely watered down
but never mind la since i hold the rule that if you don’t know how to cook curry even when instructions is given, you shouldn’t be cooking at all….don’t try to improvise if you don’t even know the basis of cooking a decent simple curry and best part, IT’S INSTANT…no wonder you’re a douchebag..you cook this meal so many times and you haven’t gotten it right…. sigh…you really should just leave cooking to the people who can actually cook… -_-’ and stop mutilating my intestines….no wonder i just eat sauce and rice…

i went out to drinks anyway wif PST, Chuuchuuu and rayray because we were all in the same hood
aahahahahah
btw i found a really nice msian food place to eat aye,…albeit cooked by dodgy singaporeans but it was the best mee goreng i ever ate and so cheap, i’m going back today to eat breakfast and subsequently until something bad happens ie commercialised or sold out or etc…i will be going back at least every week. the drawback is, it only accepts cash and since i hate to carry cash…
but never mind..so dam good, it’s almost like the mamak..
the environment also, sadly, like the mamak but the mamak stall is cleaner in sense the taukeh always turnover tables faster lmfao and tables are always clean…

thenn after they left. i went to play magic beans
lmao so dam funny ok!!! but i didn’t win anything tonite
and then we continue drinking and i went home to sleep and totally forgot bout my assignment that is due today at midnight.
lmao

word count : 0

AHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH
i’ma die but first , i’m gonna g3t breakkie and then go collect bday present
and then come back and mug my books like no tomorrow….

btw thank you for the wishes chuuuchuu XD
oh um i think i’ll send u the pix instead of uploading it here XD
nobody will ever witness yours and PST’s lengchaizness and it will be wasted here : )

manga of the week: GS Mikami (actually i’ve been reading it like crazy)
anime of the week: FMA and Kindaichi Shounen no Jikenbo – Young Kindaichi case files….XD dam old school liao

note: the more i watch these anime, the more humour i see in life – in terms of ppl’ actions and it’s quite funny when u see their expression ..like life imitates art. XD

Filed under: Uncategorized , aznboss, chuuchuu, douchebag, mamak stall, mee goreng, msian food, PST, shitty weather in auckland

like good massages? PROMO TIME XD

so last post looked like spam of some of the good deals i thought was happening
but i have more good news XD and good deals
btw i’m not paid to endorse them
i paid for all the stuff myself (the worst thing bout having someone sponsor you is that if you don’t like it, you have to like it because they paid for you to like it…so i might as well pay for it myself and i get to write whatever it is they had to offer)

anyway up until this weekend (i think)
the cut above academy has a very sweet promo going on
if you like massages because a back and thigh/leg(have to check i forgot) massage cost only $50 and with this promo, the academy’s beauty and spa dept is giving away free sauna treatments….

btw
i went for my facial yesterday and i fell asleep again
best ever 40 minutes of my life because after the facial i had a massage
and they really have the hand of a goddess…..

so if you like to relax and want to treat yourself at a very cheap price, head on there
and you can quote my name to get discounts~~ how not good is that?

anyway
i went to the meetup yesterday and boy were the a bunch of funny and interesting individuals.
but i guess i’m going anti social and cannot mix well anymore
i’m gonna hang up the cape over the weekend when i turn 24 next week
partay is apparently happening on saturday
but that depends on the weather
and whether baby and i are actually bothered to leave the house later in the evening
(we have this bad habit of once we go home we won’t go out until the next time we need too… -_-)

anyway giapo’s icecream on queen street is nice : )
i still prefer the gelato at the ferry terminal in downtown because it’s more smoother and it’s not uberly sweet
but giapo is still awesome never the less…for $7, the cone is so big and like double scoops..WTF how not cheap is that? anyway if you go and become a regular, you can join the giapo familia’s wall : )
cheap and good and designered. oh yeah!!!
they’re italians btw! so go on in and flex your italiannnnnnn~~~

i’ve been receiving presentssssssssssssss and it’s not my birthday yet!!!
sniff
thank you thank you thank you~~~
i’m madly in love with one of them my bf think i’m neglecting him -_-
sorry baby
but i’m sure my obsession will be over soon
i think i’m almost cured…..
waiting for results now…
well hopefully good news and on a better road to recovery
if i have to take medicine for the rest of my life
sigh…………………………………………………..

anyway have a good weekend ahead
i forgot everything i wanted to post -_- sigh..

Filed under: Uncategorized , auckland city, cut above academy, facial, gelati, gelato, giapo, ice cream, manicure, massage, pedicure, queen street, spa

best buys in auckland

if i don’t tag my hits goes down
lolz
actually i don’t even care since i have no adsense thingy

but anyway
whole of auckland having sale
the best i saw today was at st lukes mall – for shoes and jewellery.

kookai’s sale was just shit. same old stuff from the old sale…but this time their sale is more pricey than last…i went there a few months back and scored 2 tops for $15. STEALLLLLLLLL at KOOKAI ok? i only go in for sales cos it’s really not worth it.lol

then novo is having a cheap ass shoe sale for $25 for pointed shoes and peep toe shoes…i am thinking of going back to browse tomorrow XD but i gotta go to town and check it out.

all the jewellery stores are having saleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee……range of 30%-70%. DUDE CHEAP ASSSSSSSSS earings and bangles and rings. not my cup of tea cos the ones i like are never on sale *cries* or even if on sale, i can barely afford *cough*balmain watch and rings*cough* but if my wallet wasn’t wif the boi, i think i’d have bankrupted myself.

farmers HAVING MASSIVE SALE IN THEIR TOY dept and also the bed section (i didn’t buy any beds hahaha) but good deals going on man..EVERYTHING IN ST LUKES IS ON SALE…

the worst is the bagshop…STOP SELLING SHITTY GRANDMA LOOKING STUFF AND BRING BACK STUFF FROM 2 YEARS AGO!
i went to sylvia park on friday – so so bargains – i went into jayjays and got some cheap ass skinny jeans for $25. i need a wear and tear and throw away pair for randoms. no size 6 ladies so gotta deal with 8 and it’s comfy la. i look like punk boi but missing cap and piercings =\ but nvm. cheap ass and good!

there is a new shop that opened in the city.
it’s in the little high street area – pass by witcoulls. asian shop just opened selling cheap ass accessories..if you like those oversized key chains and hairbands and fauxprinted wallets, go there la XD

i went to the A&E yesterday and blew a big asshole into my wallet cos i needed medicine pronto (i sound like a druggie but alas, it’s true…no medication i think i might’ve not seen tomorrow)

actually i forgot where else but i went into these few selected stores…

Filed under: Uncategorized , auckland, jayjays, sale, shopping, st. lukes mall, sylvia park

hmm

come to think of it
my bf is the desktop kinda person and i have always been laptop person
ever since i got my first laptop in 2005.
it has treated me nicely up early 2009.
and then the LCD screen decide to die on me and well smoke was coming out and i could hear flickers of electrical sparks
so…
i took the bf’s one since he doesn’t use it
and then my mother said i should do something bout it and my dad was going on bout how i should get my own laptop.
i was gonna buy it from asus but i got really pissed off the ones i wanted they didn’t stock or wasn’t in stock and blablablaa
so i also gave up. then i looked at dell but their customer service made me dam angry so i am not gonna go buy
i wanted to buy sony but then baby don’t like
so in the end
i just used his laptop only
and then my mother was disapproving this notion
*sigh*
and nag me not to bother bout the desktop…and my bf was “what’s wrong wif desktopppppppp?!?!?!”
lmfao
he then realised all of us don’t really give a shit bout desktops…
lmfao.
4 against 1.

then today
we all went to yum char
after listen to my parents nag me bout my weight and eating habits
cos they really hardly see me
then hand me over some box of food
and forced me to eat shitloads at yum char
then later they passed me my first birthday present XDDD

yuuushhh
it’s early cos my bday is the week after next XD
and then hohohoho
i wished i won the 22million lotto but someone in manukau got it
i hope some of it goes to samoa =\
anyway i only got $24 : (
but better than nothing = )

oh btw
the other birthday present i got was
my parents have entrusted me to my bf fully
lmfao
looks like he passedddddddddd (well my mother really got no choice in this matter since i’m gonna be the one marrying him -_-)
anyway
they told him to take care of me cos i’m all his
but not to send them repair bills -___-
so.
bad.

have a good week ahead la
i’m really happy today
my infection has subsided
only a few more days to go
time to go back for test..
sigh

Filed under: Uncategorized

YTWWN

i know i am very late at finding this
YTWWN – You Thought We Wouldn’t Notice

but i was browsing some comments from the nzherald and found this link
lmfao..it was the first page comments from trelise cooper kicking out rachel glucina article..
actually i like rachel glucina..
i should really pay her a visit sometime soon for damages dealt but in future and in due time : )

anyway
this is really an awesome site if you have nothing to do at home and you like
spotting this kinda stuff (my hobby for looking for fakes when i have nothing to do)

anyway i hope you enjoy this as much as i do
and of course
learn to give credit where credit is due
and acknowledge all inspired creations and tell ppl so
also
i guess that’s why i hardly ever buy expensive shit (Except a few brand whore loyalty moments)
cos i don’t want to be an accomplices of someone famous and prestigious ripping off the hard work
of someone trying to make it big but it gets snatch away from them
etc..etc..

anyway YTWWN – You Thought We Wouldn’t Notice

Filed under: Uncategorized

october already

time of the year where i love/hate
hate because spring is here to stay until godknowswhen
hate because i age
hate because i grow older
hate because xmas is around the corner
hate because i need to spend more money here onwards until new year’s

loving it because i get to spend money on myself and my loved ones.

anyway doesn’t matter
it’s october already man
so i was a little bit emo but it’s all good now.
nothing pills can’t help

taking more pills
i got another infection
jeez i keep getting sick
shitties month of the year i tell you….

i’m in house cleaning freak again because i fell sick
i fall sick because i’m not used to dirt…
it’s quite funny hahahah i thought i was really dirty you know…
but actually, my standard of cleanliness borders OCD and well
it’s good practice la to have clean clothes, clean linen and clean everything and house disinfected with dettol and what not
rather spend money on cleaning this shit than anything else anymore
i guess comes with age

and then
each year
i find ways to turn back the time
buying more products to keep back the wrinkles and scaly skin
i already have cellulite. well ppl keep commenting i am very thin these days
my dad wants to shove more food down my throat along with my bf’s parents
my mom wants me to eat more meatttttttttt -___-
i loss weight because of illness and generally
i stop eating a lot of meat…lmao….
i didn’t totally cut it out i have just been eating less.
i drink less milk now but i still balance it cos going onto total soy is not really healthy either
i don’t take a lot of sugar unless it’s tim tams or oreos
haahahha
i drink less coffee and drink more tea and OJs….
sigh

each year i become more and more mundane
but it’s quite a fulfilling life
yet
sometimes i want to run away to the furthers corner of the world
just to take a peek
and then that will be it
to speak the languages i paid thousands to learn to a native person in their native country
lmao
and enjoy the food and scenery and i guess
life would be awesome
because

“vivo para comer y como para vivir”

Filed under: Uncategorized